Want to engage responsibly in any conversation? Master the art of self-calm.

          As a constant change-maker and catalyst, I seek to always keep everyone on check and up to speed while connected to who they truly are: their most authentic self. However, it does come with a rather higher price tag that I would've liked. I find myself getting mired in fiascos and drama I had no clue I was getting into.. And.. it ruined me and was emotionally draining ..

As a long-time seeker of wisdom and personal transformation and enlightenment, I had to learn the secrets of mastering the art of how to remain calm. But how does one actually be at peace even as their world seems to be descending into a spiraling tumultuous war?

I pondered on this question for somewhat of a long time, and eventually after learning and assimilating a ton of knowledge and wisdom, settled on a 4-letter acronym that facilitates maintaining one's equanimity and inner peace no matter the situation..

Lo and behold: The "STOP" method.

Now, I know, it sounds kinda boring, but it works, and thats what matters I believe..

So let's take a closer look at what this method is all about and how it might be very effective at helping each of us maintain our calm amidst all the raging wars around our souls..

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The STOP method..

Suspend your ego

Think clearly about the situation

Observe your emotions

Process it all

              Now, it's important to first recognize how our ego is the achilles heel of any attempt to be calm. It will always tell you that you have to respond or else you'll be weak. It will you lies. And more lies.. and more lies.. It is highly crucial to learn to suspend our egos and live in another's world. Thats when empathy takes hold and center stage, and when the ego that clouds our judgement, blur our vision and distorts our inner peace, finally is no more than a memory.

Thinking about the situation clearly and objectively is all about taking a peaceful and nonjudgmental approach to the situation at hand. When we accept that different views could be simultaneously correct, we empower ourselves to be freed from the ensnarements of our judging minds and entanglements of the illusion of the zero-sum game.

Observing out emotions without judging or rejecting them is perhaps the most crucial element, because oftentimes we get lost in the sea of our emotions, and become fodder destined to be carried away relenetlessly by the currents of our minds and emotional state. When we learn to accept our emotions, we allow ourselves to feel and express them freely. A monk once gave the analogy that if you can see the river, it means you're out of the river. If you can see the mountain, then you're away from the mountain.

Finally, one can then process what they were able to think of while having their ego suspended and their emotions observed, one can then see what comes out of it. It is recommended if you focus and control your breath as well throughout. The 4-7-8 breathing technique developed by Health Expert Andrew Weil, M.D., could be of particular value and assistance. Inhale over a period of 4 second, hold your breath for 7, and exhale it over 8. Repeat 3 or 4 times at least so as to calm your heart and mind down.

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When we learn to quiet our minds and listen to our hearts, we allow ourselves to connect authentically and empathically with our true selves, and with others, with no judgement, assumptions, expectations, disappointment, or even attachment.

No drama, no negativity, no wasting of precious time, and higher chance of achieving our goals, being more persuasive and maintaining our inner peace.

Best deal ever!

So next time you find yourself in a hot mess, a heated debate, a fiery argument that seems to be going nowhere other than pure drama, or just simply unable to resolve a dispute, remember the "STOP" method, and Suspend your ego, Think about what's going on objectively and with clarity, observe your emotions while being mindful of your breath, and process it all and see what comes out.

And remember, you cannot do it wrong, you can't fail at it. Just do it.

Because, when we control our emotions and not the other way around, we can engage responsibly, instead of hemorrhaging emotions and getting lost in their sea, only to be carried away by its restless currents.

Original Entry Date: 07/24/2023 at 02:41