The Secret To Overcoming Your Greatest Fears

Original Entry Date: 25/07/2022

Now, how many of you are afraid of something? It can be anything. It can be this monster lurking in the closet, it can be this ghost hiding under your bed, it can be this snake that you're so frightened of, that you simply faint. Now, if I asked you, 'Is that fear real?', you might answer in affirmative, negative or be dubious. Well, the truth is: Fear is not real.

          Fear is an illusory and misleading notion and feeling of the human mind. Fear is nothing but what you make of it. You can choose to spend your entire life living in fear that you created. To be clear, you did not create everything that makes you afraid, anxious or frightened; you did not create that snake, rat, insect, or whatever you're afraid of. (Unless, of course, it is something surreal and imaginary, such as ghosts or monsters under your bed, then you created it and can stop it if you want) Fear is only real when we choose to allow it to materialise in our minds. But, to understand how to eliminate and surmount our fear, it is imperative that we first become aware of the true, underlying root causes of fear. 

The root cause of all human-induced fear is: The feeling of uncertainty. 

Yes, that's right. All of our fears actually stem from that notion or feeling of uncertainty. Just think about it. Why do you feel anxious before an undertaking, such as a final exam, and when it has passed and done with, that feeling fades away in no time. Why? Because, we humans fear uncertainty. We always think of what can go wrong and what we have to lose, instead of focusing on what we have to gain. In other words, our minds are wired for negative thinking. And it is in those negative thoughts, or as Brain expert Jim Kwik calls them "ANTs", i.e. "Automatic Negative Thoughts", that renders us fearful and makes our mind a fertile breeding ground for fear. Or as Will Smith put it:

"Fear is not real. It is the product of the thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice."

Too many of us can't seem to find the chance to live our dreams because we're too busy living our fears. When you get to a job interview, you get very nervous and anxious, you may even inadvertently dampen or abate your self-confidence and your composure, and make yourself diffident and timorous, essentially ruining your interview before it even happened. Why?Well, it's because you are afraid of failure. And why is that? Because, you are not certain that it will go smoothly and that you'll succeed in securing that job. And this fear of failure is what paralyses you--essentially, rendering you powerless, flustered, and devoid of self-confidence. 

We focus too much on the negatives and what could go wrong, instead of redirecting our energy and concentration on what could go right. Being not positive and optimistic doesn't come for free or cheap. Because being afraid of failure, due to the uncertainty that you may not succeed, is what worsens your odds of success. So, you're effectively sabotaging and undermining all of your training, preparations and efforts and success through being overly hesitant or even pessimistic. Even if you fail, don't be the reason you failed, rueing with profound regret the fact that it was your lack of self-confidence and hesitancy that made you shy, timid and not yourself at all, which ended up costing you dearly. Failing doesn't make you a failure; it is through failure that we succeed. As Winston Churchill once said:

"Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts."

When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change, taught us Wayne Dyer. And thus, when we change our perspective from "I've always failed at this so I will never succeed" to "Just because I've always been bad at doing this thing doesn't mean that I'll always be so". That shift in our way of thinking has such an unimaginable transformational impact on the way we operate. Your brain is like a supercomputer, it runs whatever software is embedded in it. Whatever software you have running your brain, will determine your mindset and your belief system, and consequently, your thoughts, limitations and actions. So, do NOT be afraid of failure, for failure is a treasure brimming with life lessons waiting to be learned. As Irish novelist Samuel Beckket once said "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better". And you always shall learn from your shortcomings and mistakes. 

Fear can also prove to be an effective ally in times of need, but that is true only if you know how to use fear as a fuel to push yourself forward. Fear is such an undesirable, nagging and irksome notion that actually going through what we fear with courage, is almost always the best and most efficient way to get rid of that fear. After all, courage isn't being afraid of anything, it's being afraid of something and going through with it anyway. You have to ask yourself the most burning golden question of all: "What the heck do I have to lose?".

As Steve Jobs once said:

"Remembering that you're going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you've something to lose."

And so, to recapitulate, we've so far established that fear is:

-Unreal

-A bogus, imaginary and elusive construct of the human imagination

-A feeling that can be defeated, dismantled and destroyed if we change our 'software' or mindset

-Something that doesn't control or define who we are and cannot affect us unless we allow it to do so.

-An integral stepping stone to success, as it entails failure, which is also an indispensable and inextricable part of success

-Something that we can choose to ignore

And with that knowledge in mind, and with perseverance, courage and determination can you overcome your greatest fears, surmount any setbacks, and liberate yourself from your own self-imposed limitations. Everyone can choose to change and be a hero! You just have to remember that, so long as you persevere with consistency, courage and persistence, you can do whatever your heart desires and become whomever you want to become. As Historian Thomas Carlyle once said:

"Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak."