The 5-Point Technique for Self-Peace

Yusuf Kemal
Jul 17
7 min read

If you've been struggling with getting control of what goes on in your head, and feel like your mind is working against you, you're not alone.

Countless people -myself included- in our hustle-filled society seem to have challenges with getting around their heads, and this in turn negatively affects their ability to have unshakable self-confidence and deprives them of their natural state of inner peace.

But how do we control our mental space? Heck, how can we get our minds and emotions to work for us? Is it even possible?

For the longest time, I thought it wasn't. But, recently I've incorporated many of what I've learned from deep research, reading and professional classes into developing a 5-step technique that I've found really powerful in helping me center myself and act with calm, reassurance and confidence in any situation.

So, without further ado, let's begin.

1. Tidy Up Your Mind

Would you feel comfortable if you never cleaned up your computer trash?

Or your cache on your phone?

Or perhaps not tidying up your living room before a guest arrives?

How about leaving your bedroom cluttered and messy for months on end?

If your answer to any of these questions was "no", then, I'd invite you to try to remember the last time you cleaned up... your brain!

Yes, we often rush to clean up and tidy our houses, our rooms, our schools and whatnot elsewhere with a sense of urgency, passion and mission -especially if someone's coming to visit. We're even more zealous and eager to clean up our RAM on our phones, or tidy up our files and folders on our computers and desktops. But what about cleaning up our minds? Clearing all the clutter and clog that have been slowing down our neurological computer system that's literally running everything in our lives. Why do we neglect making sure it's tidy, neat and that everything is in the right order?

How about our own self-fabricated negative thoughts? Why let them roam around freely? We would never let a computer virus roam around our devices unchecked, heck, we even pay our hard-earned money for antivirus programs to keep our devices running smoothly and safely.

We pay almost obsessive attention to the cleanliness, tidiness and health and security of our devices, yet when it comes to the most important computer we have -our brains- we tend to just brush it off and not even think about it.

The mind is powerful. Perhaps we do not hear the wise whispers of our true selves because we're drowning in the endless scream of the human mind, both our memory and imagination. We become what we say. Our thoughts not only wield power over our mood, but also how our bodies feel. Whatever we think, affects how we feel. And conversely, whatever we feel in our bodies does in turn affect our mental state. This is because the body and mind are intertwined in a cybernetic loop. What happens in one of them, affects the other. The key to getting a hold of our mood goes through taking charge over our minds and our thoughts.

It is up to is to take control over your mind and have full dominion over our mental space. Ghandi once said that "I'd never allow anyone to enter my mind with their dirty feet". The mind is powerful. It can tell us lies, tells us we can't do this, or we're not good enough, that we're stupid, or that we can't make it. But in these moments, it is empowering to simply realize that at the end of the day, the final say over our mental space belongs to us. Even if we cannot always choose the thoughts that intrude upon us in our heads, we have to remember that the choice of whether we believe them or not, -whether we take them seriously or dismiss them- always belongs to us.

Thus, what we could do if we wish to clear up our minds off of self-destructive negative thought patterns, is to simply quiet it. Quiet our minds. When a negative thought arises, just quiet it down and let it pass like clouds in the sky, without judging or rejecting it. Another perspective, which might be more useful for some, is whenever you feel the thoughts are becoming too much, just stop them. Stop any negative thought in its tracks. What you feed, grows stronger. So, letting the thoughts come and go is important, but if those thoughts become part of your habitual inner voice, or regular movies playing on end inside your head, then, stopping them and replacing them with positive thoughts and encouraging remarks may be more helpful.

To pull all of this off more easily, I recommend practicing the remaining 4 steps to get your mind and your emotional state to become more equanimous and at peace, which helps one become more confident, comfortable in their own skin and and at ease with oneself.

2. Visualize your Thought and Emotion Streams

To manage my thoughts and emotions, I learned to imagine that there are two separate yet interlinked streams going through my mind (or head) and my heart (or the entire chest area). Each stream, which I visualize to be just like a regular air current or water stream, carry a different content within. The upper stream through my head carries my thoughts, and lower one through my chest carries my emotions.

Think of it this way, the idea is that by visualizing your thoughts moving in a stream that's flowing right through your head (where your brain is) and your emotions flowing in a stream through your chest (which is where the heart is), you can then empower yourself to disassociate yourself from your thoughts and emotions. The premise underlying this is that we're not our thoughts, we're not our emotions; we're simply experiencing them.

The practice of mindfulness is really simply about observing our thoughts and tuning in with your emotions. Simply being aware of their existence and flow. Listen to them.

Remember the anecdote that if you can see the river, then you're out of the river. If you can see the mountain, then you're away from the mountain. Make sure to not identify with your thoughts or emotions, simply let them flow through you -like clouds in the sky, without judging or rejecting them- and you'll experience instant peace and calm within.

Lastly, I find that focusing on my breath takes away attention from my thoughts and creates space for me to calm down. So, remember to simply be aware of your breath.

3. Release Whatever Comes Your Way

Now, this one's easy. Remember the two stream we just talked about? Yes, those two. Remember the first point of "tidying up our minds" from unwanted negative waste? Cool! Now, if tidying up our room or computers meant that that extraneous matter (or material) had to go somewhere else, wouldn't it make sense to find a place to dispose of all that unwanted negativity and thoughts in our heads and hearts?

This is exactly what this is about. Whenever a negative thought or emotion arises, simply throw it in any of the streams that you visualize. It doesn't matter -as far as I can tell- if or not you pay attention to consigning the correct type of waste to its corresponding stream (i.e. unwanted thoughts to the thought stream and unwanted emotions to the emotion stream), so do not get hung up on that. Just throw all those thoughts and emotions away from your mind and heart and into those two streams. Release whatever comes your way, be it a vitriolic comment or an insult from the outside, or a critical remark by your inner voice. And remember to make sure to actually visualize the two streams flowing gracefully, one through your head and the other through your heart (or chest).

4. Find Your Inner "Lake Peace"

This is a layer I found myself adding to reinforce the peace arising from letting go of those thoughts and emotions into the two streams and having my mind spruced and cleaned up of its old toxic waste.

The idea, again, using imaginative visualization to imagine that, as you tidy up your mind and clear it of negative, unhelpful, critical thoughts, and as you distance yourself from your thoughts and emotions and release any such thoughts and emotions into your two streams, the area right above your hara, the center of your body, stills.

The imagery of a lake I use is powerful because only when the lake surface is still and tranquil, can the image of a full moon be seen clearly, otherwise it's distorted. Similarly, when I apply the three techniques above, I imagine that lake becoming more and more still and unperturbed, using it as imagery to symbolize my inner peace.

5. Your Inner Ball Of Light

This is a technique I learned courtesy of Paul McKenna's Program on MindValley, which I incorporated into my larger strategy. The idea is rather simple: Move your attention to your stomach.

Moving our attention to the center of our body, this allows us to become both physically and psychologically stronger. As Paul relayed the story of how he learned about this, he recounted that the Aikido guy who taught him this had told him to "Put his brain in his tummy". Doing this, as Paul noted, not only empowers us with strength, but also allows us to be calmer.

What I learned to do is to simply bring my attention from my brain all the down to my "one point", which is a point Paul defined as being an inch below or above the navel and about halfway inwards through the body -so halfway between your navel and your spine. And then I keep my attention focused there until I feel stronger, more confident and calmer.

I also try thinking of positive thoughts and being mindful of the voice in my head, keeping it at bay and ensuring that it is giving me positive, encouraging and uplifting messages in an encouraging tone of voice.

I also liked how he used imagery to aid in delineating the exact location of the one point. He suggested that we "visualize a ball of energy" emanating from that spot. Hence, the "Ball of Light" metaphor.

I hope this helps, and remember that you can always adjust and alter this technique to your needs. I personally find that if I focus on steps 3 and 5, the other ones follow naturally. For example, I do not often feel like I have to consciously or deliberately release anything into the two streams, or tidy my mind as often, I just focus on the two streams, my inner Lake Peace, and implementing the One Point exercise by Paul McKenna. So, feel free to change anything and lemme know about your modified techniques! I'd love to learn about them!

Original Entry Date: 05/10/2024