How to NOT Make Everything So Complicated

I’d like to salute and thank you in advance for taking the time to read this piece. I assure you it will be time well-spent, and you’ll come back on the other side afterwards with a totally new and fresh mindset, perspective and will be armed with the necessary techniques and methods to not only handle stress, overwhelm and burnout, but effectively negate, nullify and neutralize their influence; thus, liberating yourselves from their shackles, once and for all.

This is part of the culmination of over 6 years of delving and exploration into the world of the wisest sages, mentors, geniuses, philosophers, thinkers, and teachers, wherein I sought to assimilate and curate the world’s greatest wisdom, knowledge and life lessons. It worked for me, and I am confident it will deliver substantial and life-changing results for you, too. At least I hope so, but its up to you to follow it, apply it, and alter it to your own true self, and that’s part of the fun.. go crazy with it, and explore new ways to apply it, and new lessons to learn, too.. We are all perennial learners at the end of the day, are we not?

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Taking Life Less Seriously: Radical Acceptance

We live in a hectic world, where everything seems to be moving and changing at speeds approaching the speed of light. It is thus no surprise that most people are highly prone to overthinking

Ram Dass, the late spiritual master, wisely reminded us that

“We're sitting under the tree of our thinking minds, wondering why we're not getting any sunshine.”

One of my best and wisest friends, who is a second-generation disciple of the late spiritual master and teacher, Ram Dass, taught me about the reality of attachments, and how they perniciously impact our functioning and happiness level.

I had shared with him once an image that read "What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be.”, to which he responded by saying "There are two factors in my life that account for the quality of my life way, way more than any other ones:

1) my models and expectations of how the world is supposed to be, and whether or not they are congruent with how the world actually is.

2) the story I tell myself about myself, and whether that is one of compassion or one of judgment.”

And truth to tell, when we think about it, -as I humbly invite you to do so- , it makes a lot of sense; our desire to control things and have everything lined up perfectly in a universe which operates by the principle of entropy and chaos, can only cause, what we call in psychology as, “Expectancy-Reality-Discrepancy”. And hence the name may suggest, and as my friend wisely wrote, it is our models or expectations of how things are supposed to be, and whether or not those expectations are compatible with how the world actually is, that are the source of our mental anguish and suffering.

"Nonresistance, nonjudgment, and nonattachment are the three aspects of true freedom and enlightened living.”, said Eckhart Tolle

Now that friend of mine, who’s a disciple of Ram Dass, had commented on the above quote by Eckhart Tolle and said:

"These things are true, they have face value, just like it's true what the Buddha said, which is that attachment is the root of all suffering. However I have more recently come to understand that it is not my resistance, judgments or my attachments that are the actual source of my suffering, it's my inability to let them go quickly and cleanly when the universe has moved on. Of course I have attachments, I am human. I love passionately and deeply - therefore I am vulnerable to deep sadness and sorrow when the things that I love turn out to be impermanent, which they always do. It is too hard to exist in this world devoid of judgments completely - I like some things and I dislike other things. You can call it preferences, but it really is also judgments. It is also hard to exist in this world without resisting change - our reptilian brains are hardwired for fear of the unknown - naturally I have some resistance to change. The perception of unpredictability in life is initially scary. So I allow myself attachments and judgments. I don't worry about whether I am resisting or not. I'm just not attached to my attachments! I am in the habit of letting go of my judgments quickly - I stop resisting change the instant it becomes uncomfortable to resist it. I don't care how the universe unfolds anymore! It can unfold any gosh darn way it wants to! I'm going to be fine no matter what, I'm going to be happy no matter what, I am going to find peace of mind and equanimity no matter freaking what!"

I read once, that when we die, only things will matter:

-How well we lived,

-How deeply we loved,

-And how much we were able to let go of things that are beyond our control.

I realized that we have to learn the difference between connection and attachment. Connection gives us power, attachment sucks the life out of us.

Epictetus said that there is only one way to happiness, which is to stop worrying about things we cannot control.

Now this doesn’t mean at all, nor even imply in any way whatsoever, that we simply sit back and ‘accept’ the world for the chaotic and iniquitous mess it is. It doesn’t mean we stay silent in the face of injustices, or that we don’t do anything to make the world a better place, or that we don’t strive for a better future .. It merely implies to convey the power in learning how to sustain our mental and physical health, so that we could extend and keep on our fight for much longer, instead of burning ourselves out. It is learning how to masterfully dance in the rain, so we can stay in the fight for our future long enough to witness the sun shine and the resplendent rainbows manifest.

I learned that happy people look beyond the imperfections of life. That it's so much easier to find happiness and peace when we let go of trying to control everything. That we’re all doing the best we can.

So let us allow ourselves to enjoy the blessings we have. Focus on things that are going well.

Life isn't perfect, and it never will be. So what? We can still choose to find happiness and healing moments.

We can still savor precious moments with our loved ones. We can still create things we're proud of.

We can always choose to respond to life from a place of love and gratitude.

Our Affirmations For Today:

"I can easily forget sad moments. I allow myself to embrace my own unique path in life. I allow myself to be present. I trust the present. I am free from judgment and attachment.”

As the Dalai Lama said:

“If it can be solved, then there is no need to worry. If it cannot be solved, then worry is of no use.”

After all, gratitude is the acceptance of the present, while looking forward to a better future, and freeing ourselves from being prisoners of our past.

As the saying goes, “The secret to having it all, is knowing that you already do”

Profound and wise words to live by..

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Become The Flow

We have to come to learn to let go of what we cannot change, that is why we have to accept others for who it is they are.

When life ends, only three things will really ever matter, and they’ll define one’s legacy:

- How well we lived a life that is true to ourselves;

- How deeply we loved and cared for those we value and treasure;

- How well we were able to let go.

I have learned and trained myself, to not just adapt to change, but to become change. To not just surf the wave, I become the wave. To not just go with the flow, but become the flow. To not only become peaceful, but become peace. That is probably why I radiate a sense of peace, calm, bliss and reassurance to those around me. That is how I became a valuable asset to those that come in contact with me. That is all because I learned how to never let anything or anyone disturb my vibrational frequency. I admit, I do not get it right every time, I am still learning how to maintain my vibrational frequency at all times. But at present, I can maintain it most of the time, almost always, I’d say, which I am eternally grateful for. I learned to be still in the midst of a storm. I learned to be like a duck. Waves rage below me, I am unperturbed. Rain pelts down on me, I am undisturbed. I am in this world, but not of it. I do not belong in here. This is not my world. I am merely a fugacious flicker of light, a passing quanta of energy, a soul in other words, that is in this world to serve a purpose and accomplish its given mission. That is all I am. That is why I seek to be of value to everyone around me.

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We Are All Energy

When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change, said Wayne Dyer. I used to take life so seriously, especially against the backdrop of the climate and ecological crisis. But it took a deep toll on me, and almost went through a heart attack during a severe panic attack in which I palpably and tangibly felt my heartbeat in my frozen/numbed-out hands, which could’ve been fatal, I can’t be sure, though.

Ram Dass reminded us that "Our journey is about being more deeply involved in life and yet less attached to it”. It is a tough balance to strike, I admit. But how do we strike it? Is it possible to even be involved in life yet less attached to it? After all, its our attachments to our attachments that is the root for all our suffering.

As Elbert Hubbard eloquently depicted it "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”

Though maybe we will… just in another form .. a form of energy freed from the constraints of a fragile body; a quanta of energy, we call the ’soul’.. We seem to indeed be more than the avatars we create, more than the body, as Jim Carrey would say.

He had said “Because ultimately, we’re not the avatars we create. We’re not the pictures on the film stock. We are the light that shines through. All else is just smoke and mirrors; distracting, but not truly compelling… I was concerned about going out into the world and doing something bigger than myself. Until someone smarter than myself made me realise that there’s nothing bigger than myself. My soul is not contained within the limits of my body, my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul. One unified field!"

Or as Pierre Teilhard de Chardin put it “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

Furthermore, on the topic of energy, I also learned and realized further that negative emotions such as anger, are nothing but merely inconsistencies and vibrational fluctuations in our vibrational frequency (or VF for short), in other words, they are negative vibes that reflect the disharmony and imbalance in our frequency, and show us that it is out of tune and out of sync with the frequency of our true self.

The practical benefit of such a realization can be found in a statement that we heard all too often, “Energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be converted from one form to another. And so, if negative emotions such as anger are just negative vibrational alternations or fluctuations, and are thus subject to the laws of waves, and hence are energy, then we could begin to understand how we could very astutely learn to convert that negative energy, those inconsistencies in our VF, into positive energy, in other words, being anti-fragile, instead of trying to be resilient and simply putting up with all the negativity, or even worse, trying to ‘eliminate’ or destroy or get rid of that negative energy -which, we can’t !- Because energy cannot be destroyed, so when we try to destroy that negative energy created by the inconsistencies or fluctuations of our VF, we each time fail, because we try to do something that's against the laws by which they are bound.

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Fully Charged

We need to take care of ourselves. Focusing on ourselves isn’t self-centered, it is self-dependent, as Mr. Jay said in this very short, 3-minute video.

He imagined us all as if we had batteries that could be charged. He asks the thought-provoking question: What if we charged ourselves as much as we charged our phones?

In essence, charging our minds, bodies and souls is the path to preventing burnout and getting drained. Meditation is an effective way to still the mind and quiet its incessant internal chattering, so that we can truly hear how the mind works beyond all that noise. This allows us to pull that veritable curtain behind the matrix, which is the multiplex of the mind that manufactures scenarios -both good and bad- in our heads and leaves us drained and frazzled in a whirlpool of assumptions, conjured up thoughts, and reveries. Pulling that curtain and going beyond that drama-infested multiplex of our minds allows us to truly see the true nature of the mind, to see how we work; to witness our minds at work.

As for the body, what meditation is for the mind, exercise is for the body. While our minds are best perceived and refined while quiescent and motionless, our bodies need to be active and moving for them to function at their optimal best. Of course, the optimal best is the optimal middle, in other words, finding that balance between rest and exercise -or even regular activity or movement- is crucial. Just imagine what would happen to a machine that never rests for maintenance.. Which is why sleep is also just as critically important and vital as exercise. An active body leads to a healthy mind, and a quiet, still, peaceful mind leads to a healthy body. Its a complementary equation, not an either-or proposition.

But by far, the greatest indicator of joy and happiness, is found in meaningful, energizing, nurturing relationships that are fulfilling and full of wonder, joy and blissful peace, and free from negative vibes, gossip, complaining and non-constructive criticism. This, in all things, has the potential to recharge our batteries and replenish all that energy lost in work, commute, drudgery, chores and negativity.

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Live For The Moment

We often hold on to things from our past; things that have indeed kept us safe back then, but things that may not necessarily be serving us now. Things that might not be compatible with the new ‘us’, with whom we have become. Things that were created for someone we no longer are. One of the main reasons behind our suffering is living in the past, or in other words, living in a time that has come to pass. A time that is no more.

It is a bit like a seat belt on an airplane. It helps keep us safe at one point, but if we can’t let go of it, then we become trapped, we become imprisoned by our past, and we become limited.

Borrowing trouble from the future does not deplete the supply. Protect yourself from the runaway train of anxiety through taking care of the now.

Holding onto the past is like walking with our face looking backwards; we’ll always miss on what’s in front of us.

Lao Tzu taught us

“If you are depressed you are living in the past.

If you are anxious you are living in the future.

If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

When we think about it, we really cannot suffer from our past or future, because they do not truly exist, at the fundamental quantum level. What we suffer from is our memory or our imagination.

Time passes so quickly. We literally do not even notice it until it begins to show. I once read:

"Time is priceless when we have so little of it. So, don't wait to use the good china, go on the trip, eat the cake, watch the late movie, read your favorite book, and take a chance in life. The time is now!”

Live passionately while there is still time. Remember, tomorrow is promised to no one. Mr. Jay Shetty reminds us:

“When we have time, we complain. When we don’t have time, we come to our senses. When we have time, we overthink. When we don’t have time, we get overwhelmed. When we’re young we think we have time, when we’re old we realise we don’t. When we’re young we think that time is cheap. When we’re old, we learn that time is priceless. Never turn your back on time because you can never get your time back. And it is never too late to start valuing time. Don't wait 'til something goes wrong to use your time wisely.”

Live your own life, true to yourself, while you still got the chance.

So I learned to live fully, and be me! And you can too! Be YOU! Our journey together is too short.

Here’s a Facebook reel narrating a truly heart-warming and eye-opening story .. it’s just so beautiful: https://www.facebook.com/reel/292414346459516

As Ralph Emerson wrote "Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety. Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in. Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This new day is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on the yesterdays.”

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I stumbled upon a truly beautiful and inspiring poem, that I’d like to share with you all, the poem is by Erin Hanson, who is actually an artist too!

"I was the type of person,

That held onto things too tight,

Unable to release my grip,

When it no longer felt right,

And although it gave me blisters,

And my fingers would all ache,

I always thought that holding on,

Was worth the pain it takes,

I used to think in loosing things,

I'd lose a part of me too,

That slowly I'd become someone,

My heart no longer knew,

Then one day something happened,

I dropped what I had once held dear,

But my soul became much lighter,

Instead of filled with fear,

And it taught my heart that some things,

Aren't meant to last for long,

They arrive to teach you lessons,

And they continue on,

You don't have to cling to people,

Who no longer make you smile,

Or do something you've come to hate,

If it isn't worth your while,

That sometimes the thing you're fighting for,

Isn't worth the cost,

And not everything you ever lose,

Is bound to be a loss.”

And this is truly one of the most amazing and profoundly meaningful poems I ever read. I loved it really. I hope it inspired you..

Original Entry Date: 22/09/2024