How To Figure Out How To Heal Oneself

I’d been very recently through immense traumatic misery and despair -even despondency. I'd thought that being the veritable incommunicado ghost would help me heal by allowing me to feel and express my emotions without suppressing them.

I thought that two weeks of solitude would be sufficient and potent enough to do the trick. I was at least partially, wrong. And even though I can’t deny I have healed somewhat, I cannot help but confess that I have played a role in my suffering,

A fellow philosopher of mine, Mr. Mitch Davidowitz, put it eloquently,

“I cannot deceive myself as sincerely as I once did that my fingerprints are not all over the conflicts of my life.”

This was an emphatic statement of courage, and facing the reality of our existence. A time of reckoning, and owning our responsibility for the roles we play in the architecting of our own suffering. We are masters at it.

There was a story of a man who painted a tiger on a rock, took it to be real, and ran away. We are all Picassos. We need not create illusions and live inside them. Our minds transport us into imaginary stories of invincibility, then when we fall short of the self-imposed expectations, we expediently blame the world for it.

The saddling burden of the role we play in our suffering can be too unbearable at times. The light of personal responsibility can be too blinding for those under the trance of the illusion of perfection. Those with fragile egos cannot look into such mirrors. We live in a world with big egos, but little ears. Indeed, but how often do we genuinely take a step back and mindfully ask ourselves if we have displayed the courage to look into ourselves and own the role we play in our suffering. We love escaping the uncomfortable.

Frida Kahlo once said,

"I drank to drown my sorrows, but the damned things learned how to swim."

Indeed. We escape into imaginary sanctuaries that sap the truth of our souls with boundless mendacity. We need not entertain those lies. We just need to work on ourselves.

The pain of being hurt, can be too much to bear. We keep thinking about it unceasingly as if amplifying its voice will help us heal. We surrender our peace in the moments we succumb to the temptation of letting the voice of pain drown out the wise whispers of our souls. When we learn that the secret to finding healing harmony is to relinquish the illusion that Peace is external, we allow ourselves to find within that which we seek without.

We can resolve to purify our souls by mustering the courage to look in our uncomfortable mirror with the intention of polishing it. It is here where we can meet it with self-love. When we let go of the need to be in elusion of the truths that reside within such mirrors, we deprive our illusions from the power they posses over us.

It is here that we can be truly free. Being in constant escape of emotions we want to avoid, has us terrorizing ourselves.

When we make a commitment to cultivating a sage haven inside our hearts, we gift ourselves the opportunity to harbor a sanctuary of Peace that we can come back to in times of tumult. No need to infuse fear into our lives. When we allow the light of truth to shine on our hearts, we let go of the need to avoid it. It is here where the dark corners that haunt us are illuminated. We need not be held hostage by that which we seek to avoid.

Ram Dass advises us to let go with his sage saying,

“Truth waits for eyes unclouded by longing.”

In Buddhism there is a saying “The first arrow always hits.”. When we’re hurt, we feel the pain. But it’s ultimately up to us to not allow the second arrow to hit. For oftentimes, we’re the ones who shoot it at ourselves. Because after the first arrow hits, and hurts us, we’re crying about being hurt.

“There is no greater or smaller mastery than mastery of oneself.“, said DaVinci.

May we have the courage to let go of that which no longer serve us,

While resting our souls in the abiding peace that arises

Original Entry Date: 11/03/2024