A New Perspective On People

We usually see people as just other people, and we don’t think about it twice. But the true wise people and sages of the world know how to see people as souls, not the person or avatar that they interact through. Throughout my own personal spiritual journey of wisdom, I have realised that, even though this is an elevated level of spiritual operation, it may sometimes still allow us to be prone to seeing those souls as being right or wrong.

So I decided to dig deep and come up with a new and ingenious lens and perspective.

When we choose to see people, not as simply people, we become prone to seeing the ‘labels’ society or us may have put on them; rich, poor, evil, good, bad, swarthy, black, white, transgender, male, female, gay, straight, plump, fat, thin, suave; the list just doesn’t end. When we see others as ‘souls’, however, this helps us go beyond most of those ‘labels’.

Unfortunately, even then, we still would be able to judge those souls of others as ‘right’ or ‘wrong, or ’good’ and ‘bad’. But we can go one step further and see people as stories; a collection of experiences. This helps to empower and allow ourselves to see others through the lens of compassion and understanding, without any judgement. Because, stories cannot be ‘good’ or ‘bad’, nor can they be ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, sometimes in life, there’s isn’t a right or wrong answer, everything becomes about understanding. Just like when we read a novel, we don’t go on to judge it as a ‘right’ novel or a ‘wrong’ novel; we just try to understand its plot, its characters, its events; its stories!

As Alan Watts puts it,

“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations."

We have to come to a point where we are able to recognise that, everyone is right, in their own perspective. And that, thus, everybody deserves to be heard for what they have to say. There is no right or wrong answer, everything is about understanding.

Ram Dass once wisely stated,

 “When you know how to listen, everybody is the guru.”

Friedrich Nietzsche framed it differently, but expressed a similar message,

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."

But, if we are to truly see others with no judgement at all, we have to avoid any lens that can allow for any sort of ‘labels’ to be ascribed to anyone else. The lens of ‘stories’ transcends most labels that the ‘souls’, and more prominently, the ‘people’ lens, are very prone to. But, despite this, and despite the fact that, for instance, a ’story’ can neither be labeled ‘good’ or ‘bad’, nor can it be judged as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, still, a story could nonetheless be laballed as ‘famous’, for example. Thereby, to circumvent this, I found an even higher level of operation that is much more closely aligned with our true reality and being.

Enter the realm .. of energy !

We are all energy. That is what we are, that is who we are. We are not the bodies we inhabit, nor are we the stories we live or even the feelings we feel. We are not our mistakes. We are not the labels society has chosen to put on us. We are just energy. And, energy is. Energy is. It just is. Energy cannot be black, white, asian, gay, straight, transgender, male, female, thin, overweight, ugly, or even beautiful. Neither can it be ‘good’ or ‘bad’; nor is it right or wrong. It just is.

When we choose to see ourselves as energy, we begin to realise that we’ve got nothing to lose, and at that stage, we truly become unstoppable and able to find and reach our true potential. For energy cannot be destroyed, offended or hurt; it cannot even be created out of nothing; it can only be changed from one form to another; which is, it seems, what happens when we die; our energy. our soul, becomes disentangled from our bodies, our soul energy becomes the energy of the universe; we become universal energy.

And that is why, judging people without knowing their story, their experiences, their background, what they feel and how they function and at which level do they operate, deprives us of the opportunity to identify the underlying reasons for their behaviour and thus be able to understand and subsequently target those reasons, and then leverage all of that using the art of persuasion and negotiation, to achieve our end goals and objectives.

The reasons for our beliefs, notions, feelings, thoughts and behaviours are usually rooted in our subconscious, meaning that they are impervious, undetectable and not at all obvious to us when we’re awake in the ‘Gamma’ brain wave region, and thus, we don’t recognise them unless we analyse, and dig deep into, ourselves.

And by listening, observing, understanding and empathising with others, without any judgement or assumptions, we can choose to allow ourselves to live in another’s world and this empowers us to ask ourselves questions like “What would change my mind if I was in that position?” or “How would saying or doing this or that impact this person?” or “What cognitive and emotional needs do they have that could be met first?”

Bill Bullard once stated,

“Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge is Empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another's world.”

Since we are all energy, if we wish to influence, teach or impact someone else, we need to match our vibrational frequency to theirs. For when we do that, something almost ethereal transpires: We generate resonance with them. Our energy resonates with theirs, our souls become able to connect with theirs at the same fundamental level; courtesy of the same vibrational frequency.

We then enable ourselves to truly see the world from their minds, from their perspectives, and even if vicariously, from their souls, their energy. As such, we become able to experience how they function, the level at which they operate, and live in their world. This is how we ‘suspend our egos and live in another’s world’.

As Harper Lee in “To kill a Mockingbird” (1960), put it,

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view. Until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it."

This is how we can do just that. To match our vibrational frequency of thought and being, to theirs. If we wish to then influence them, to impact them, to help persuade them, we now become empowered and able to do so. We can alter our -and thus, their- vibrational frequency (of our thoughts, emotions and behaviour) to match the frequency of what we’re trying to influence them by, or persuade them of.

To adjust our matched vibrational frequencies of thought and emotion, to the frequency we want. It may be our true frequency when we live in our world. It may be some other frequency of a belief or realisation we had that we’re eager to help that person(s) arrive at as well. It may be anything. We just need to live in their world, and understand them fully and deeply. Forgetting everything we think we know. And not judge or assume anything. Just, live in their world.

Cuz, when we can put ourselves in their position, we become able to ask ourselves “Now that I’m seeing things through that person’s point of view, their lens, their perspective, the position of their soul, their level of operation, and their vibrational frequency, and that we (for we are energy) are now both are in phase and in sync with one another, we’re operating at the same frequency, and having the same vibrational frequency, what would now change my (and thus, their) mind?”

And then apply the answer to that question to that person.

As Albert Einstein put it,

"Everything is energy and that's all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics"

And after all, as English Philosopher John Stuart Mill sagely reminded us,

“He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them. But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion... Nor is it enough that he should hear the opinions of adversaries from his own teachers, presented as they state them, and accompanied by what they offer as refutations. He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them...he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.”

At the end of the day, what we see depends on the lens we look through. So if we choose to see the world through rose-tinted glasses, then everything will seem rosy, if we choose to see the world through green-tinted glasses, then everything will seem viridescent; but if we choose to see the world through translucent or clear glasses, we then are able to swap glasses with anyone else, and live in another’s world.

That is the premise and essence behind the art of negotiation that is used by professional negotiators at the CIA, FBI etc .. That is the practical method of having the other side say what we wanted to say, except they would think it was their idea all along, as taught by the FBI’s former head negotiator, Chris Voss.

Ram Dass once said,

"Across planes of consciousness, we have to live with the paradox that opposite things can be simultaneously true."

Here's a short story to illustrate it.

Imagine two kids, Joseph and Mark. They one day decide to chalk the numbers 1 to 10 onto their school playground. They then decide to play a game, wherein each of them stands on either side of the number strip of 1 to 10 and they try to view these numbers from both sides, one seeing then numbers upside-down and the other child seeing the numbers from their normal orientation. They view the numbers as they walk in parallel to them together in sync, moving together on either side, from 1 to 10.

When each are standing at either side of the number 1, one sees a number 1, and the others sees an upsidedown 1; then they move together in parallel to one another towards number 2, again, one kid sees the actual number while the other sees its upside-down version. They go across number 3, 4 and 5. Then they arrive at number 6.

"I see a number 6" declares John.

"No! This is clearly a nine!" Mark vehemently protests.

"No, this is clearly a 6" insists John.

This goes on for a while, until they mutually decide to try to not waste each others' time and not squabble over this. So they decide to get a grip and move on..

And so, they move onto numbers 7 and 8, then they come to number 9.

"Now this is clearly a number 9!" announces John.

"No way! This is a '6', it is as clear as sky!" Mark retorts.

"Mark, buddy, you know how much I value you, but I am afraid you're wrong here. This is a nine!" John asserts in irritation.

"How could you not see? Are you blinded? This is an empathic '6'!", an ireful Mark vociferously contends.

They continue on wrangling and bickering over whether this is a '9' or a '6'. And they start saying hurtful things to each other. This ends up taking a toll on their amiable and cordial friendship.

Now, neither of them were, per se, 'wrong' there. They were both correct, they were just view the numbers from 180 degrees across each other. They just had different points of view!

So was it worth it? All the lost time, energy and friendship suffering in the end. What was it all for? When we fail to accept that another's view is right for them, we waste our time and energy. We risk failing ourselves, and hurting others in the process, and, potentially, losing that person.

After all,

Close-minded people care about what is right;

Open-minded people care about who is right;

But wise people, care to understand. For they know, that there is no right or wrong answer. Everything is about understanding.

Thus the trick, is to collate and contrast the options we have, the different perspectives; and ask:

"Will choosing to see the '6' as a '9', or choosing to see the '6' as a '6' be of greater bene-fit?

.. and then use our collective wisdom to pick the one that best fits.

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One of my favourite quotes from Jay Shetty is when he once wisely noted that,

“Judging is critical, but observing can be educational.”

All of this constitute the foundational and logical premise for the art of understanding, the art of persuasion, the art of negotiation; The Japanese art of Wabi-Sabi; And the concept of ‘radical acceptance’, as taught by Ram Dass.

It’s all about understanding, empathy, and embracing the impermanence and imperfection of everything.

Original Entry: 5/28/2023