An Urgent Plea For Exigent Assistance From My King (Satire)

Thy Memic majesty, Stormy King IV.,

I hereby solemnly extend my plea for help. I seek support and reinforcements from the most formidable army in the realm. The extent of the desperation and need for the assistance of the Royal Memic Forces of the Stormish Empire cannot be possibly overstated.

I wast sallying forth unto new lands, and alas, mistakenly made a grave mistake of exchanging fire thither and thereabout with the infamously potent Royal forces of her Majesty, Queen of Memes Jenn Roznicki III. of the Empire of Our Flag Means Death.

Her majesty hath demonstrable and sophisticated capabilities, keen knowledge and insight of the battlefield, with advanced war tactics being boastfully on full display with no compunctions, hitherto fighting betwixt and throughout the most vociferous and ferocious of battles, and doth not dither to employ all the weapons, memes and ammunition at her disposal; I am confident of the veracity of such information at least putatively from a spy informant I had dispatched myself, and whose been since able to sneak around and eavesdrop upon one of her Majesty’s high ranking commanders.

I am convinced I have got no other resort but to call for a dispatch of reinforcement phalanxes from the Memic Stormic Kingdom. I shalt and wilt patiently await thee to apprise me of thy Majesty’s sentiment, and thy hopeful gracious affirmative correspondence.

Thou woult be proffering unspeakable salvage and bestowing far-reaching peace by granting the hereinbefore afore-requested assistance with the approbation of thy acutely competent generals from the prestigious High Memic Command, and mayhap even the erudite and esteemed Exalted Council of Creators of Splendid Gravitas.

I tender my sincere and cordial gratitude to thee, thy Memic Majesty, as well as my fulsome apologies for causing thee any disturbance.

I do hope the exigency and preeminent significance of the matter in question doth warrant my plea and eventuate the dispatch of at least 500 Royal Memic infantry units from the famously invincible and widely feared phalanx regiments of thine. You art my king. 🤴👑

Yours truly,

Your humble servant and,

Prince of the Memic Kemalic Principality,

Yusuf Kemal